Yes, I Have It In Me....

There are certain moments in everyone's lives, which stand tall.
In my small life, I have a few such moments.

Moments I treasure!
Moments I cherish!
Moments that make me beam with pride!
Moments that I look back on and draw inspiration from!
Moments that unfailingly bring a smile on my face.

The following is a recollection of such a proud moment!
My Dad is an Ex-Airforce of two countries !!!
He has served in the Indian and UAE Airforce!
Not that i was driven by this, but like every other male kid, there was a time in my childhood when I dreamed of becoming an airman!! ( I dont know if its just bcoz I have a lot of determination OR bcoz I really havent progressed mentally since 10 years..... I still dream of being able to pilot sometime ... and I plan to pursue it too!! )
The thought of being in the forces always excited me!

The incident I am going to narrate happened in the final semester of my B.Tech...
I was then, a guy withn no hopes, sub zero confidence (Such low grades!!).
The final semester of any course is the most disheartening part for any below par performer!
The time when the people around you start getting placements and you are not even allowed to write any of the placement papers (Back papers and Percentage).

It seriously makes desperate, even the most steadfast of optimists!

One such evening, there was an announcement that a Pre Placement Talk has been organized for the University Entry Scheme to the Indain Army!
Attending the 'n'th PPT, I was waiting for the part they would announce the Eligibility Criteria.

"60% "
What ??? Did I hear that right??
OMG, Finally a test that I am eligible to write!

"NO TEST... Direct Interview"
Thank heavens!! I can now boast i made it to the interview the first Placement exam ;).

THE INTERVIEW

Shot back home, and got out of my pair of jeans (which i would be wearing for the last one month ;) ) and got into best formal outfit.
The wait for interview was killing me!
Finally called in ... I was face to face , one on one, with a top brass "Colonel. Francis"!
Wished him and took my seat and handed my certificates to him!

"What is your view on premarital sex?", the man asked while going through my file...

A hundred million rockets fired up in my head !! :
'Oh shit! I must have left the copy of Playboy in that.' (Btw, playboy is an educational mag. :)
'Does the file still have one of my old sleazy loveletters?'

"Err... BAAD... I dont think its right."- I replied with fingers crossed.
(I was wondering how well I could lie!!)

"What is your idea about your life partner?"

That was it :
Either the man was a gay and giving me a pass
Or i had something wrong in that file i gave him (Did i give him a collection of Porn instead of the certificates??)
I decided to pull up all my wits and started talking ....
I remember describing features (long hair, parrot nose, cherry red cheeks, blah blah) ;)

He then closed the file and announced " You are in !! " ... Couldnt help but think it was a hoax interview!!

Anyways I got the call for the Service Selection Board Interview for Bhopal.

BHOPAL Selection Center Central

It was only the second time I was travelling to North India. I had packed enough of warm clothes! ( it was in January 2004). Met a lot of guys to the same place on the train!
Some names:
Mathew (I guess this guy is with infy now)
Akhmal (I was fascinated by the name )
Mohamed Riaz (Giraffe Malabari)
Raja Ravi Varma (Womanizer)
Sebin Philip (Loner TDH)
The travel was sure fun!! I was least aware what was gonna happen there! Read about it only on the train from Riaz's book on SSB .... What it was all about !!

PSST: I even remembered the tricks and tips for the various tests that were to follow!
;)

Reports of the Cold Wave
Earlier on the train, We got the news that Bhopal is experiencing the unprecedented cold (Lowest in the last 25 years)!! This was heightened by the rain in winter!!
And I have such a big problem with the cold.
God save me!!

Bhopal Railway Station
@ 3 am morning. Freezing cold.
It was so cold that the water in the public bathrooms were almost freezing!
And I was even reluctant to brush my teeth!
But, right in front of my eyes, the munnar engineering college guys walk in to the shower and take bath!! These guys live on frigid water !!

Then the wait for the army truck to take us to the exam center, we had to wait till 3 in the afternoon next day (Talk about indian punctuality)
And the sight of us being taken in those open huge vans reminded me of sheep being taken to the slaughterhouse.

But the trip was fantastic ... we were close to 200 young people from all over India.
You could say it was a kind of those moments where you would have liked to have the national anthem play .... and then hug everyone around and say "We are brothers , fellow Indian".


SCC was fun!!!
I could write atleast a MLOC (software influence, i guess)- Million lines of crap on the wonderful experiences we had there!!

The Final Moments

We were tested rigorously, for the next two weeks, to answer just a single question:

"The Indian Army, calling Engineers ."

"Do you Have it in You?"

To cut a long story short.... It was days of comraderie, those 15 days.
We were truly bonded! We would hug and comfort the people who were eliminated !!
Wish them all the best on their way back to the railway station!
They would wave to us with tears in their eyes!! We could see the fervor in their eyes to be standing in our places !!

Yet, the next day would be again the competition kicking in!!
We were competing for the few seat against each other... yet little did we know how much we were getting bonded in the course!

In the two weeks the following eliminations took place:

1. 200 ppl after some preliminary elimination were brought down to 39.
2. 39 of us were put under various tests (psychology, interviews, group tests) and then short listed to just 12.
3. After the medical examinations, only a meagre 5 were found fit!

And I was one among them!
Those days were not about just the glory!
It was about comraderie.... Believe me when I say that I have very close friends from that incident than from the normal 23 years of my life

I still remember that we sang our anthem ' Sandeshe aate hain..... ' while we were being shipped back to the railway station in the truck! And the guys behind our truck on bikes , were singing along with us and swaying their bikes to our tunes !! We were beaming with pride .... we had been chosen to serve our nation!!

And as if it was still yesterday, I can recollect the joy in our hearts to have made it through the
test that even our president Mr. Abdul Kalam could not clear (That was part of our welcome speech). And the walk down the corridors in the college ... "Yes I am selected".

I was among the first ones to get placed that year !! It was a miracle !

"...the most unimportant, the one that the masons discarded was made the corner stone."
- Bible

There are such moments in everyone's lives, that one thanks god about!

It certainly is one of those moments in my life!

Look at the proud no 9.

PS: Photography inside the SCC, Bhopal is prohibited. But since our batch had exhibited unprecedented team work and had achieved the highest selection rate (12 off 39) ... we were photographed !!!

This ladies and gentlemen therefore is history!!

Thank god !

And I love you all friends .... Many of those names now are on the rolls of OTA (Officers Training Academy, Chennai) and IMA (Indian Millitary Academy, Dehradun) and the Naval Academy.

All of them serve the forces as Captains (Army) and Naval officers (Ramu, I forgot ur rank :)) )

We still keep in touch via our group 2issbiens (21 SSB-iens) on yahoo. ( btw, 21 is the name of the board in Bhopal SCC).

Heres to All you Brothers !
Chal!!
Thats the royal salute of the ACC
(army comedy corps, instituted under Col. Ramnathan aka Ramu)

Jai Hind

When it Rains

I am not a big rain lover !!
The underlying reason is pretty simple ... its like i hate to pour the first mug of water on myself in the shower!!

Once that is done ... i just love the drenching, playing in the rain, or riding in the rain (believe me it very different and fun too)

Hate ?
whats that ??? i am an angel, i never hate anything ;)
DONT LIKES about rain...........
1. The initial drenching.
2. The inconvenience.
3. Muddy roads with the splash expert trucks to share it with.

Worst ever rain??
Naaa....
Probably, when dad was driving down from tvm to kotarakara (i would have driven, but considering that i was only in the 11th , i was not allowed to )
......
Dad drives like he does in the Middle east on indian roads ... and it is sometimes too much to handle for the passengers!!!
...
Very bad visibility and night with the rain.... we were all praying all through the journey that we get home that night....:p

Best recollection
This one is cool ... i can still see this one like some painting hanging on the hallways of memories...

The whole of the hockey ground used to filled up in muddy brown water.
Then it would flow down the front of the hostel down to the football ground.

We would most probably get a holiday because of floods at thampannoor.
And we would play in the rain ... paper boats.... long sleep in the afternoon.... cool nights.... the look of those drenched trees waving in the wind ... made me wonder if it was their dance of joy for the rain!

I still feel the wet wind blowing on our faces , as we stood on the top of the hostel building and pondered yonder ...

Now i can look at those days .. just like we used to dream of our tommorows then!!

Tears of Joy

Nostalgia....

Don’t know what emotion it is, that boils up when thinking about the years and experiences realized here; But it sure does have tinges of love and hate, joy and tears, pride and taint, laughter and pain, fame and scandal.

It must be the profuse of these emotions and thoughts, that the heart lends a tear to the eye. I can't help but admit:

Thinking of St. Thomas makes me cry!!

St. Thomas School is a chip of me!!
I owe a lot of myself to the countless days, faces, experiences and decisions there!
I would not be me. Maybe better, maybe worse. But I swear I'd rather be this way and believe it’s the best.

Bitter experiences, glorious fame, tender moments, loving thoughts, crying downs, long and lonely walks, bitter embarrassments, baneful insults, persistent botherations, supporting personas, recognizing and patronizing partners, demoralizing events, joyful dances, laurels, hearts songs, yearns for love, crave for attention, !!

I can still smell the fresh paint, on the start of the academic year!
I can feel how the eyes wet to see Mummy go back home that day!
I can see how we used to huddle up for each other on that day!
I can still recollect that we used to fight like dogs the very next day!

I can feel the excitement of wearing new dresses to school (maybe not)!
I can see the yellow busses pull in on rainy days!
I can feel the rebel in me, trying to break out of the shackles!
I can still feel the tired, desperate warrior beat by the system finally!

I can still hear the ring of church bells and the evening and morning hymns!
I can see myself in the choir, singing out my heart, in devotion and pride!
I can see myself sleep away golden hours of my time!
I can see the latecomer always, getting tainted and whipped!

I can see the running from wardens, afternoon naps, socks balls and games!
I can feel the illicit pleasure in climbing up the mango trees!
I can recollect the plans to play socks ball basketball, with vigil on sir!
I can still wince with pain of the cane digging in to my thighs and back!

I can see with my eyes closed, rows of beds in blue unison!
I can see the freezing of movements at the bell for bedside prayer!
I can feel the urge to start playing basketball in the sunny afternoons!
I can feel teenage thought about the girls around!

I can still hear the speech at the passing out ceremony!
I still recollect the moment of realization!
I hear my friend orate "Its over, we are going out a trapdoor"!
I still feel the frozen me see all the long years in a flash!

I can recollect all this, but....

Never can I go back to those days again to relive it!
Never did those monotonous days of my life make sense to me!
Never did it hint that it is molding me, and enslaving me!

Never did I relish the pain...
Never did I love the school or the hostel...
Never did I want to continue there...

Yet then I realize I did!!

Years down the line...

Here I am...
Tear in my eye...
Remembering those 'Best days of my life'!
Remembering my 'Alma Mater'....

I still feel the souls crave to stick on!
I still feel the futile prayer to rewind in time!
Knowing it's all so silly........
I still wish it could be so!

I have had it all.... don’t know though what it is that brings these tears....
Pain or Longing?
It just is so misty ... how do I know what is causing these tears?

Slowly, the mist clears and the sun shines through....

And in the end, it's nothing but the sweetness that remains!
I realize it must have been my own
'TEARS OF JOY'

I owe this post to my school:
Please do visit!!
St. Thomas Central School

Dont tell me I didn't warn you !!!!!

The below is an analysis on my abnormality!!
Happy Reading !!
If the below sounds like a graveyard..... dont worry .... YOU ARE NOT FAR!!!!
Reading my blog == Getting close your grave .... simple @#$$%#$&^$(*

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.